Travel Continued

Boarding a plane before the majority of travelers is a delightful privilege. The biggest perk is the ability to put your carry-on luggage in an overhead rack. On this trip my luggage was only four rows away from my seat neatly tucked away over head. Far too often I have shoved my carry on under the seat in front of me eliminating my meager allotment of foot space. The secondary perk is sitting back and watching other passengers fight over the remaining over-head storage.

Being in the back row gives a clear view of the entertaining squabbles that inevitably break out. Bob from Philadelphia decides that Bernice from Atlanta stowed her baggage inefficiently and proceeds to rearrange it in order to get his bag in along side. Bernice realizes what is going on and gives Bob an earful for touching her luggage. The ruckus alerts the 102 pound “flight attendant” (she is not a stewardess) who steps between 195-pound-Bob and Bernice, who appears to have had two Bobs for lunch. Employing the skills of a diplomat, marriage counselor, and magician the flight attendant gets the bags, Bob, and Bernice all securely stowed in their respective seats with smiles an all but the bags (they make no expression whatsoever). Moments later a young man is trying to stuff a backpack into a space that won’t fit an empty file folder. Our perky flight attendant demonstrates she also has military training as a Drill Sargent and begins barking orders. She informs the hapless backpacker that not even she can accomplish this feat and that he will need to store his pack under the seat in front of him. The de-neutered young man slinks into the seat across the aisle from me and starts the process of eliminating his foot space. The attendant smiles sweetly as she surveys her neat and orderly domain where she is clearly at the top of the food chain.

To be continued…

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