“Did you write anything today?” Every evening this question is posed to me and far to often I must hang my head and confess my lack of production. “I don’t have anything to say,” I complain, “It doesn’t matter,” she says, “just write.” Argh!
I have no one to blame but myself. I have conditioned her to expect much from nothing. For the last several years as a pastor she has observed that as a man who feels he has nothing to say every Saturday night, gets up every Sunday morning and delivers a Sermon (and they usually don’t suck…usually). As a psychologist for about 25 years people come to me with amazing, sometimes horrific, stories and the first thought through my mind was, “Wow. You need professional help.” Then I realize I am the professional help…I got nothing. So I do my best with my art of building sand castles with air, and they tell their friends with problems to “Go see J.D., He really knows what he’s doing.” Fooled another one.
Even in school, an environment to which I never fully warmed, I got by on nothing. I studied the teachers much more than the subjects they taught so I could figure out how to get an “A” with a knowledge base of zilch. I’m actually quite good at it. I went to school for 22 years straight and have enough notes to fill the majority of one college-ruled note book (I wrote very small). I usually did not know when papers were due, so I wrote them the night before (which is exactly what would have happened if I did know when they were due). Most examinations were pop quizzes for me…but I understood the teacher and what they wanted, so I got good grades. I graduated college with a BA in BS and got a scholarship for the graduate work.
I say all of this to say that, as usual, my wife is right. Having nothing is not an excuse for not producing. Sometimes nothing is just enough, like today, I have nothing, but I’ve written a blog.